Happy August and happy back-to-school for those of you with school-aged children! It seems like summer just started and in the blink of an eye, it will be the holidays (I’m sure that invoked audible groaning for some of you). Regardless of our feelings about the changing seasons, they change anyway. Change is inevitable and seems to be the only constant. With all that said, this month I would like to discuss dealing with change and offer a personal story along with some tools for mindfulness that you may find helpful.
No Stranger to Change
One of the reasons I have chosen to discuss change this month is because my family and I have gone through many changes over the last three years. Some of those changes are deeply personal, some are physical, some of them are geographical. From changing my career after fifteen years, to moving three times to three different areas (yes, we just moved again a couple of weeks ago) I am not a stranger to change. Throughout all of this I have become more aware of the idea that “attachment is suffering”. Each time something happens that is going to cause a shift in circumstance, I seem to become attached to a certain outcome. As an example, when we sold our home in 2022, I truly thought we would buy a home in a year; however, things shifted along the way altering our perspective and consequently, altering our path. Some of those occurrences were beyond our control. This year, a similar set of circumstances occurred yet again, and we found ourselves accepting at least one more year of renting instead of purchasing a home. Working to accept the changes with grace has been an interesting “experiment” if you will.
Finding Peace with Change
With all this movement, I have found myself uttering the mantra “be here now” as a way to accept any current circumstances and simply be grateful. Humbly, I will admit that I have stomped my feet like a two-year-old having a tantrum a few times along the way. This is simply because I have been attached to the idea that I don’t have “roots” if I don’t own a home. This is not true, and I have had to examine my personal beliefs and conditioning. It has taken a few moments of humility to understand that there is no linear path and that it is possible to just “bloom where you are planted”. Ok, admittedly, being a bit nomadic for the last three years has challenged me on many different levels. Ultimately, I am learning that all I can do is go with the flow and grow as a human along the way. If I decide to kick and scream it will not change the outcome, but it will likely create my own suffering.
Simple Practices Worthy of Sharing
Something I have implemented along with my meditation practice has been to practice gratitude. This has become a bit cliché I will admit; however, regardless of its overexposure, it is a very useful tool that can help to become more centered and grounded. It is nearly impossible to be annoyed and grateful at the same time (I am sure there are people who want to challenge that theory). Nevertheless, gratitude is a practice of mindfulness that I have found quite helpful.
When struggling with change, another practice is simply mindful awareness. Becoming intentionally aware of my thoughts and feelings (whether warm and fuzzy or anxiety-inducing) is a very effective practice. By becoming aware of our thoughts but not identifying with them, just feeling them as sensations in our body, can help to “short-circuit” a negative feedback loop that can take us down rabbit holes. When I find myself catastrophizing and my thoughts begin to spin out of control, I become aware of what I am feeling physically and then refocus on my breath. This act of intentional awareness takes practice. Being mindfully aware takes the focus off (what can be) destructive thinking and brings us back into our bodies and “out of our heads”.
Always Allow Grace
This is the most important thing I have learned is to give myself grace. Change is hard, being mindful and not getting carried away with my thoughts is a challenge. We all fall from grace and that is perfectly ok! It is my belief that experiencing those contrasts is kind of the point of our existence (a topic for another newsletter). Grace and compassion for yourself is a crucial part of self-development.
In Closing
Change is something we all deal with whether we like it or not. How we respond to it is entirely up to us; this subtle shift in perspective can be empowering! Being mindful of when we are attached to a certain outcome and shifting our focus to being present and grateful are valuable tools that can help us to cope with wanted or unwanted changes when they arise. They do call it a mindfulness practice for good reason – it takes repetition for it to become a habit. Allowing space for grace, humility and compassion will only further growth through change. I hope this has been helpful for you! If you have read this far, I want to thank you so much for your support! Please let me know what you think – I always love hearing from you.
Cheers, Adriana