Rethinking Procrastination and Finding Your Way Forward
Hello and Happy April!
I hope this finds you well. Spring has sprung (with a taste of summer here in Northern California) and March is already behind us. The last several weeks have been a bit of a blur and I have found myself battling a serious case of avoidance (hence, no issue sent in March)! Perhaps it is spring fever but, if I am to be honest, lately I have been doing a lot of soul-searching. Seems appropriate since spring is a time for renewal, for new things to sprout and to release what is no longer serving us. Still, trying to find my rhythm and simply accept each moment as it unfolds all the while, trying to be “productive” has felt like I am fighting against myself. Finding patience in the flow of life can feel like an insurmountable undertaking; well, this is true for me, especially when my attention seems to scatter so easily. My creative self has taken a backseat allowing my seemingly endless task list, and the compulsion to check off each box, to override my desire to do things like, well, write this newsletter! While tormenting myself with a myriad of distractions, it hit me! I can’t be the only one who suffers from this affliction – this scattered mind and total avoidance of what I “should” be doing. So, this month, to honor spring fever, I would like to discuss procrastination. What it is, what it is not and most importantly how to deal with it.
What is Procrastination?
According to Merriam Webster, the definition of procrastination is: “to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done”. In my case, I have had “write your 23rd meditation script and send your newsletter” on my to-do list for several weeks and not accomplished either task. When I am actively avoiding something, it doesn’t feel intentional. It simply feels like other things are more important; but let’s be real, is reorganizing my pantry “more important”? As I often do when I am struggling, I begin to ask myself questions. What is it about the task that I am avoiding? I absolutely love writing so why am I putting it off (intentionally, according to Merriam Webster)? Another question I ask is how I might feel once I finish the task I have been putting off. Leading with curiosity not condemnation, I started to notice my thoughts when I sat at my desk and stared at the blank Word document. Turns out, it wasn’t the writing I was avoiding per se, it was the fear of writing the wrong thing. I also noticed how nice it was outside and how dark and sad my office felt so, I took my laptop outside for a change of scenery. This curiosity led me to just start brain-dumping. I explored even further and found that to better understand what procrastination is, it may be easier to explore what it is NOT.
What Procrastination is Not:
Procrastination is not laziness. It is usually a form of protection brought on by a fear of imperfection. Ah ha! Yes, that thought resonated deeply! Admittedly, I am a perfectionist and was waiting for the perfect topic to write about. Ironically, that didn’t happen until I just started writing what came to mind. However, I always want to put out meaningful content. Paradoxically, the more meaningful I want the content to be, the more I seem to put it off. Procrastination is our mind’s way of protecting us from something uncomfortable: pressure, overwhelm, self-doubt, and, in my case, the weight of putting out “meaningful” content. Clearly not laziness – especially since I have completed several other tasks (weeding the yard, reorganizing closets, giving myself a pedicure…the list goes on). So, I realized that the more something matters to me, the more likely I am to procrastinate.
What may be Happening Below the Surface:
While doing some further exploration on this topic, I uncovered a few reasons why procrastination may take hold.
- Scattered Priorities: In my case, I have various passions that seem to be competing for my attention. When everything matters, my brain can’t seem to decide where to begin so, it chooses NONE! That is when I end up in the pantry alphabetizing food cans.Pressure to Perform: This is a big one. Pressure only adds tension and tension doesn’t offer clarity; it clouds our judgement and produces avoidance. I jokingly call this “shoulding on myself”. The idea that I should be doing something important with my time only adds to the pressure, which leads to judgement and shame and, me in the yard pulling weeds!
- Fear of Choosing Wrong: This is the feeling of decision-permanence; if I commit to one thing (even temporarily) i.e., writing my newsletter, then maybe I am closing the door to creating other things. This indecision then leads me to stay stuck and head out to the laundry room to wash another load of laundry (you get the idea).
- Imposter Syndrome: This one is the proverbial sucker punch in the gut! It is the idea that “who am I do be doing this anyway” or “what if it doesn’t work or I can’t sustain it”? This deep-seated fear of stepping into a role that I may not feel worthy of filling only adds to the discomfort, the pressure to perform and the fear of choosing wrong. It can lead to paralysis and more less important tasks being crossed off my to-do list (but at least I enjoyed the pedicure I gave myself).
If we know what procrastination is, what it is not and what may be happening under the surface, how do we reconcile it?
How to Deal with Procrastination:
If you are reading this, you may be procrastinating right now! So how do we overcome it? As I always say, I am a work in progress but here is what I have learned.
- Reframe Your Thoughts💬: Instead of “why can’t I motivate myself” I asked myself, “what am I trying to protect myself from feeling?” This reframe shed some light on what was really going on. Personally, it boiled down to me avoiding feeling like a fraud.
- Reduce the Entry Point⏲️: In other words, start small – like really small! For me, this looked like opening the Word document and writing the first sentence. For others, it may look like setting a timer for 15 minutes and committing to the task you are avoiding until the timer goes off. As an added bonus, the timer method seems to work best for me if there is a reward involved; for example, I get to play Wordle once I finish this one thing. Motivation is secondary to movement not the other way around!
- Create Gentle Structure (or a change of scenery)🍵: This is only helpful if it feels good. Since I tend to be more routine-driven, this is the step I have been more consistent with lately. Usually, I will grab my coffee in the morning, light a candle in my office, sit at my desk and write (or edit/re-read past works) for at least 15 minutes each day. The idea is to eliminate pressure and create a space where tasks can feel fun and inviting. The same time and ritual each day signals our brain we are safe to explore. If the structure does not work (which happens often), I let it go or change my scenery all together by taking my laptop outside (and try like hell not to succumb to yardwork).
- Be Imperfect on Purpose🤪: This can be a fun one; however, it only works for creative tasks; I wouldn’t recommend it for getting your taxes done! If you are struggling with something that requires you to create something, like working on writing a paper or composing a song, just decide to do it badly. Giving ourselves permission to be imperfect usually allows our true voice to show up.
- Mind our Energy✨: Clarity and motivation are not constant and that is ok. On days where I just don’t feel like doing anything, I will do small things. I will write a list or simply journal. Having self-compassion is important. We are not always going to feel gung-ho about our tasks, we are human, not machines.
In Summary
Procrastination is a part of life. When it shows up, getting curious can offer more than pushing through. Exploring without judgement is a great place to start. Once the potential cause is uncovered, it can feel less daunting to accomplish those things we may be “intentionally putting off”. By reframing our thoughts, creating a safe space and trying to have fun while being mindful of our energy, we can relieve some of the pressure we unknowingly put on ourselves to be productive. I hope you found this helpful! It was truly helpful for me to write it! Thank you so much for reading this far. As I mentioned, I love writing and hopefully helping others or at least making others smile.